Wall Broken Down

I was reading Bing's blog entry about why she blogs.

Today, I received some not-so-happy news about someone so very dear to me going through some tough times. In the past two years, I think I've been hearing nothing but bad news after bad news after bad news. Things that have and are affecting different people in my life and people not in my life. I don't know if you call it unlucky... or just an inevitable part of life that you're not prepared for until it hits you. It's not petty drama. It's not self-inflicted or controllable. But it's all real. Too real.

After bouts and bouts of storms, you'd hope for your sunny breaks. That's how it's suppose to happen, right? When it rains, it pours... but the sun always break through afterwards. It's been a long time waiting though...

I guess I've just been incredibly lucky to not experience much of it in my early life. I've always had the perfect family. With loving parents. On top of that, loving aunts and uncles. I grew up with a gazillion cousins. I have so many people to lean on. I have so many memories to keep (as what is life without memories?). I went through school with usual childhood experiences. Mom handmade all my halloween costumes and even my prom dresses. Dad fed me my medicine when I was sick, built my bookshelves to keep my books, and made all our lunches to bring to school. Looking back, I had it really good. Picture perfect good.

It wasn't until a couple years ago did I realize that it doesn't always stay that way. And none of it is under my control. This is what being grown-up means I guess. And especially working in health care, I realize that people inevitably get sick. Someone starts to lose their strength. Someone else needs your care. People inevitably fall apart. No matter how strong they may seem. I  fall apart. We're only human.

And when this happens, it really puts everything into perspective.

And with the bad news after bad news after bad news, the only way I could keep my strength to carry on is to find my own sunny breaks in between the storms. Remembering what matters. Remembering to give myself chances to smile. Remembering that I'm not dictated by all the bad news, but living all the good days in between. And evidently with my blog, there are good days in between...

That is why I blog.

Wishing and hoping those going through these difficult times the strength and courage to carry on.