I hope I can survive the weekend and not think too much about why I booked it off and what I had planned and where I wanted to be. Filling up my days with distraction.
Last night, I went to a CE event for work. Just a night for people from the company. To learn about the new shingles vaccine. Something I guess I, being a certified injection pharmacist, should know. Free food. Amazing view. Dinner in a gorgous park. Why not.
I'm not a floater and stationed at a specific location, but I'm amazed at how many people I know from the company. From the parking lot to the restaurant, I was greeted by so many smiling faces. "Amie! How's it going?". Managers I've worked with only once or twice remembered me by name, giving me a welcoming "Heyyy!"... or coworkers I haven't seen for half a year getting out of their chair to come over to hug me... and faces I see a little more often giving their sarcastic, "Hey, what's up. It's you again."... the warm greetings was unexpected and honestly... so nice. People happy to see me. It's a nice feeling.
I started to tune out the seminar half way through. As interesting as the topic was, my mind just wasn't there. I gazed out the window and looked out at the gorgeous sunset. The forecast had predicted rain, but the evening turned out beautiful and clear. The luscious green trees that painted the view was breathtaking. I couldn't help but stare. And for once in the past week, I felt still. Calm.
And then I took an extra long drive, listening to my current obsession, Serena Ryder's "What I Wouldn't Do"... and waited for the sun to set before I went home.
Monday, June 10, 2013
The very last time I was at all serious about playing the piano was probably in 2007 when I played at my cousin's wedding ceremony. Since then, I've somewhat neglected it. I would occasionally play the odd song here and there, especially Christmas carols during Christmas... but that is really about it.
When I started tinkling around with the keys today, trying to provide some noise for baby Sarah to bop to, I thought perhaps I should whip out some old stuff and play it. When I got home, I took out my binder for the playlist we put together for my cousin's wedding, and I played through the entire list. From Jesu Joy, to Canon in D, to L-O-V-E, and to songs from the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack.
Good thing I purchased this Yamaha Clavinova (as my graduation present to myself nine years ago), because then I can play whenever I want. With the headphone plugged in, nobody else is disturbed by the noise. So I banged away at the keys, and swayed to the music. Even though it's been so long, it comes flowing back to my fingertips. Fingers are a little stiff, but I think I still got my skills with sight reading. And just like that, I was in the zone. Just like it did before, I ended up in my own little world, wrapped in my own music.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
I have no doubt in my mind if you were to ask me what is the most important in my life. My family and friends. Even health and wealth are meaningless without them. And I have to say that I've been completely blessed with having the people that I do in my life. They make my world. My happiest days wouldn't be as happy if they weren't a part of it.
So, you could only imagine what this past weekend meant to me.
I got to witness one of my long time highschool friend get married. She was absolutely gorgeous in her white gown and evening dress. I couldn't help but get teary watching someone whom I've known since we were teenagers enjoying one of the happiest days of her life. The reception was a gather of old friends and new. Friends from highschool who no longer live in the same city flew back to attend the wedding. It became kind of like a highschool reunion. Faces I've seen for many years and will probably continue to see from time to time for years to come. I love it. I love watching these people I've grown up with walk their own paths and come back to cross paths again to catch up. Nonetheless, there was something so very dear to my heart about celebrating a special day with an old friend. I live for these moments. And as the night quickly came to an end, I only got a brief moment to talk to the bride and congratulate her. She said softly and apologetically, "I'm sorry. We didn't get a chance to talk." Understandable. Even though all I really wanted to do was sit down with her at bubble tea, like we always do, and tell her how beautiful her wedding day really was, I whispered back, "Don't worry. We'll talk soon."
I went home that night hoping to hit the sack because I was beat, but instead, I whipped out my Cricut machine and scrapbook paper and went to town. One of my best friends texted me a photo of a kid's birthday party banner that she wanted for her daughter's birthday. I knew I could make it so I offered to help. It's just unfortunate that time wasn't on my time, and I can't seem to get enough of it. So there I was, 1am in the morning, trying to pump out this banner as quick as I can (as her birthday was the next day). Not to mention I had stayed up till 3am the night before working on other decorations for the party. When it was all done, I was super satisfied. And honestly, I was more than excited to show my friend how it turned out. Finally when I got to hit the sack at 4am, the sun was already peaking out in the sky. I didn't get to sleep much.
The next morning, I woke up to load my car of party supplies, and picked up my friend to help set up the party before the guests arrived. I switched to autopilot mode, and along with many great friends, we put up the decorations in no time. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't beyond exhausted. But, I would do it over and over and over again. I do it because of the same reason other people also pitched in to help. That's what friends are for. We all love her. There was something even more special than watching S turn one. I felt so much love within my group of friends. People who never fail to be there for you when you need them. In good times. And in bad...
With the news of a friend of a close friend passing away today after a very short battle with cancer, it took only a couple of phone calls before my friends and I whipped ourselves into a car, and drove over to be with her. We sat there in her living room... reminiscing on memories. Through tears. Through laughter. Through silence.
It was a gorgeous day out with the sun shining. The heat warming up our skin. Yet, inside all of us, there was a piece of sadness today. We took an afternoon stroll together and knew this very moment was precious to us. The same friends who spent hours helping put together a kid's birthday party, were now helping support a friend in mourning. Life is fragile. And so short. There will inevitably come a time in our lives when we will grieve. Even through this moment of feeling sadness and unfairness, I think we also achieved a sense of calmness. Because we have each other.
Lastly for this weekend, I got to see J. In between all of the "chaos" of celebrations and sadness, (and his busy schedule), I'm glad we made time to see each other. I was exhausted and desperately needing sleep, but I wouldn't trade anything in the world to miss... the way I felt when he hugged me, the way I felt when he kissed me, and the way I felt when I saw the way him smiles every time he sees me.