I just got home from a couple wondrous days at a beautiful resort soaking up the warm sun in the gorgeous vineyards of the okanagans.
Before that, I worked a very short two day work week. I had let out a huge sigh at work that I didn't realize that I had. I was on the phone with my aunt while I was at work, counselling her on her medication. At the same time I was on the phone, I was typing on the computer, processing a prescription for my mother. One of my coworkers heard my sigh and said "That's a really huge sigh."
"You've got a lot on your plate. Your life doesn't seem like it's yours. And you're too young for that."
I heard what she said but I didn't process it. Not then anyway.
I'm not really sure what I said or shown that warranted that kind of comment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended. Nor do I agree or disagree. I'll be honest that I've been pretty glum lately. One thing that I think a lot of us don't do enough is to say when we're glum why we're glum. C'mon, let's be true... we all have our bad days. Sometimes, they come unexplained. But it's when we're truthful that we can really be... human.
So, yah. I've been glum. From a whole lot of things. From my leg not getting better. From seeing my mom struggle to find herself again. From seeing my dad stress over her. From seeing people getting married and having kids and seeing how blissful they all are, and wondering why I can't even have a small fraction of it (like being able to walk or ride a bike would do). From hearing about people being sick or people dying. From feeling so helpless.
It could be worse. Acceptance will get me through. And I shouldn't really be glum.
But I am.
I want my heart to be still. I'm guarding it with all that I've got. I'm not sure I can handle another heart break. I need to sweep the pieces back together.
But, in the okanagans, the skies were blue. I'll be sure to change the tone for the next post.
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Bro and I went to burn our pre-bought movie tickets today, and watched Snow White And The Huntsman. It was my pick. I was surprisingly entertained. The backgrounds were pretty, the visual effects were cool, and Cherlize Theron made a very awesome wicked witch.
They could have found a better Snow White. Kristen Stewart had her usual Bella constipated look for most of the movie, but I suppose she was better in this movie than in Twilight. Overall, not the best movie ever, but I enjoyed it. If I could waste a couple hours watching Breaking Dawn with my friends, or perhaps Magic Mike next week... then this one was at least graphically and visually more stimulating.
Actually, maybe not compared to Magic Mike.
I came home from a closing shift knowing that I wanted a treat. To celebrate the end of a 40-hr week. I didn't necessarily want something bad for you, but just a treat. I wanted to try an avacado smoothie. (Avacadoes have good fats, that counts as something good, right?). I've heard about them, but have never tried. So, I made up my own recipe of half an avacado, milk, condensed milk, ice, and water... and threw it all into my trusty Magic Bullet. The end result was absolutely to die for. Decadently rich and sweetened perfectly. It was refreshing.
I was going to save the experiment for a hot, sunny day... but since that doesn't seem to be a part of the weather forecast in the near future, what the hey, tonight was just as good as any.
Yes, celebrating the end of a 40-hr week. My first 40-hr week in 5 weeks. It's been 5 weeks of waiting for my sprains to recover, and I'm still counting. To be honest, there has been a few moments of utter frustration in between. I've cursed myself for being careless. I've wished that I could walk properly. It's put me down a couple of times. But for the most part, I believe it just takes time and it'll get better.
Y'see, before the accident, I was looking to purchase a bike. I wanted to pick up cycling again. Something I've been wanting to do for some time. I spent several days off going around town testing out bikes and looking for the one I want. I had made up my mind before taking my trip down south (where I ended up getting the sprains) and was planning to purchase my bike the day after I came home. While down there, I bought two brand spankin' new runners to motivate me to pick up running again too. I was stoked. Excited. Giddy even. When I was test riding some of the bikes, I got these moments of unexpected pure bliss. I couldn't wait. And it would be all for me. It's been a while... since I've been so giddy.
Only I know how disappointing it really was when I came home with two horrible sprains and knowing that it'll be a long while before I could do either of those things. Cycling put on hold. Running put on hold. Physiotherapist said expected recovery time will be four to six weeks. Now, at five weeks, he said it's more realistic for a "noticeable improvement" at twelve weeks.
For once, I wish I could stand all day at work. For once, I'm glad it's pouring rain outside on a summer day. For once, I want to be selfish... and say, hey, this really sucks and I won't pretend to be okay and cool about it.
But for now, I'll continue to find my giddiness elsewhere. In smaller things. Like today's avacado smoothie. It was soo yummy I can't wait to have it again.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
I haven't mentioned it here much, but for the past several months, my friends and I have been doing a whole lot of cooking. It started with just three of us wanting to try something new and make an excuse to hang out. We started off with Korean night. Then, there was Japanese, Malaysian, and this month... Indian. Now, there are about 8 of us in our little cooking "club". And the 8 of us set out to make some mighty delicious Indian food last week.
Every month is a different ethnic food. The one rule is that everything (or most things) have to be made from scratch. We would all search up our own recipes from the internet, buy our own ingredients, and bring everything over to Kat's, where we all cook together.
It takes two people to open a bag of basmati rice. And even then, somehow a knife ended up piercing a hole in the bag.
Eddie and his gigantic onions. Francis dangerously chopping up his ingredients.
I measured out all my spices on a plate while patiently waiting for a stove top to clear up.
Kat's tandoori chicken before it went into the oven.
That's a box of band-aid. Someone needed it. Guess who.
The group cozying up in the kitchen.
Dan kneads his dough for his naan, while Bran chops up garlic for his topping.
Kat is ready to plate her food.
Fran's mulligitawny soup simmering in the pot.
Presentation is key.
Maria's butter chicken. Made the night before since she had to work a little late.
My aloo gobi all ready to be served. Turned out better than I expected.
Everyone's phones going off every five or ten minutes, timing their own cooking time.
Fresh naan right out of the oven - good job, Dan!
Fran's soup starts off the night of amazing good eats! Everything was so yummy. We always make enough so that all of us would have delicious lunches for work the next day. My brother was lucky to have a flavourful, tasty lunch the next day too.
Was too busy eating at this point to take any more photos, but will post one more later. Eddie's epic lamb curry and Bran's chickpea and paneer...
Next month : Thai.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Blue Water Cafe. I've only been there once. It was a work function and it was free. It was also several years ago. I remember I liked it. I also remember people posting photos of their 3-tier tower that I haven't tried on facebook. So I thought I'd go for it this time. Gotta try everything once, that's what my dad always says.
So, it doesn't have to be fancy. It just happens that it is. The restaurant was comfortable. Wasn't too dark. Ambiance was good. Surprisingly family-oriented. A lot of elderly and young kids. The food was great. Seafood was fresh. The service was excellent. It was perfect for Father's Day.
We fight a lot. (As a lot of families do). We all have our problems. We all have our stresses. And sometimes, all five of us living under one roof isn't easy. We'll get on each other's nerves. We'll bicker. Ahh, you know the rest. But, for some reason, over good food... my family knows how to sit back and relax... and enjoy. Mom mentioned the next morning that she was still thinking of this dinner. It was memorable and enjoyable. Ahh, that's all that matters to me.
Oh yah, at the end, instead of giving mints, they gave those mini banana loafs. I love free too!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Here we go again! It's Tuesday. Mom's out at choir practice. Which means, I get the whoooole kitchen to myself. Time to whip out that KitchenAid.
First, the dry ingredients.
Mixing up the wet. Watching my KitchenAid go a-whirlin'.
Once the dry and the wet ingredients are mixed together, time to add in three cups of Quaker Oats.
Last but not least, the peanut butter chips.
These are some fantastic cookies!
Even my family says so.
I've cut down the sugar content on these cookies, and they are still so yummy. Mmm mmm mmm...
Monday, June 11, 2012
Just like last year, my dad has planted the seeds. For every herb under the sun. Basil, dill, parsley, Italian parsley, rosemary, thyme.... you name it. I know that he's planted them partly for me. Last year, I was raving about using all these fresh herbs to cook with, but it grew so fast and so abundant, that I couldn't even freeze them in time for future use. This year, I mentioned that it would be nice to have the herb garden again. Hopefully, I'll be more diligent to use it or freeze it. So, dad has planted the seeds.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Today, after a fun dim sum date with the rest of the girls, Karen and I helped Wendy get something from her storage. Moving big pieces of furniture. Box hunting. Treasure digging. (Actually, correction : they did most of the moving. I was just the flashlight holder since I can't quite squat and bend yet).
I love the colourful doors in an otherwise dreary storage building.
I loved a lot of things about today. The support of your girlfriends. The open and rawness of our friendships. The tears, the laughters, the every news of every corner of our lives... we share them all. I love these girls.
Even time spent rummaging through storage is memorable.