There was no way to avoid looking a little crazy while I walked down the street with my eyes closed for just a few seconds. I was soaking in the feeling of a moment's bliss as the warm sun hits my skin.We had checked the forecast last night and it predicted an 80% chance of rain. Another website read 100%. But right that moment, there was nothing but warmth and sunshine. A part of me believed that V had something to do with it.
V is my brother's friend. My brother attended her funeral today. He spent the past couple of weeks thoughtfully putting together his outfit for the day. Respectful, was what he was trying to go for. For weeks now, he would mention her out of the blue in the middle of our conversations. Obviously, she's been on his mind. I was the one who broke the news to him when we first found out about her passing, because I somehow found out first. I had burst into his room, and just threw the news at him, almost hoping that he would somehow ensure me that I had gotten it all wrong. That it was some cruel mistake. That it wasn't true. But instead, he sat in his chair, not moving for minutes... in complete shock. Even though she had many, many friends, that are closer to her than my brother was, I knew from even our highschool days that her friendship meant a lot to him.
Life is fragile. I've heard it many times, but it doesn't ring any more true than now. For weeks, I've watched my brother try to process it all. Going through the necessary steps of grieving. And remembering. Makes everything else seem so small. But this is all a part of life. There will be death. There will also be birth. Today is also Kat's birthday. (Happy Birthday!). And B gave birth to her little girl. (Congrats!).The hard part about having loved someone (through no matter the kind of relationship : friendship, marriage, family, etc) is when we have to let them go. But the sorrow and sadness that comes with it sprouts from once having shared true happiness and great memories with them. That's what we live for. So, instead, I find peace and comfort in knowing that. Let us grieve... 'cause I would never give up those great memories to not have to grieve.
I gotta admit I was a little worried at how my brother was gonna handle it all. But what I learned and continue to learn (about someone I lived with for most of my life), is that he's much stronger than I thought I always knew.
V, your life was cut much too short. You've touched so many and spread happiness to so many... through my brother, I felt like I always knew you. The kind, caring, compassionate person that you were. As I was having my moment outside with the sun today, all I could think of was you. Believing that it was you bringing this warmth to all those who love you. Thank you for being that great friend to my brother. You have no idea what it meant to me.