Saturday, July 7, 2012

Finally Summer

With the sun, everything is better. Well, most things. I was pretty glum last week. Letting things that I cannot control control me. But hopefully, with the sun finally out, I'm back in control. 

I did go to the doctor this morning. After seven weeks of resting and elevating my leg whenever I could, and five weeks of physio, it has seem to hit a plateau. My knee is a lot better. Not 100%, but better. My ankle has probably been the same since day one of injury. Doctor says at this rate and because it's been so long, she thinks the damage I've done may be permanent. She said it hesitatingly, "unfortunately, some injuries means things just are never the same again."

You know what? As CRAZY as that sounds, I'm glad to hear it. Okay, good. I rather move on than keep wondering when it'll get better. I'm not in pain. It may mean I have to deal with this swelling for the rest of my life. (I'm not happy about it... I know what that means. Means that I may have more problems as I get older, and faster onset of arthritis. All the not so fun stuff). So today, for the first day in 7 weeks, I decided to forget about my leg and move on. Sure, I felt the swelling. But I walked. I walked around Lonsdale Quay in the sun. Soaking it all in. And I'm gonna just let it be. I may not wear heels to Marian's wedding in two weeks (what a bummer... I LOVE wearing heels, I really do. It's something so feminine/girly about it)... but in time, I'll wear heels again.

What I learned through all that's been keeping me down this past little while, is that I'm extremely fortunate to have a brother to keep me up. When I paid a shiny penny to replace my broken iphone (don't worry... didn't pay full price. That would be ridiculous), I let out a huge sigh. Even though on a grander scheme of things, broken materialistic things is such a first world problem, I couldn't help but let it add to my glumness of bad things happening one after another in the past little while. My bro said to me as we exited the Apple store, "It's all good. Brand new phone. You're lucky you're not a student who cannot afford to fix it. Problem solved."

When I told him what the doctor said to me today about my leg, he said "Did you hear about that guy in the army who was walking with crutches because of a really bad jump, and his doctor said he may not walk or run ever again? Well, he's walking and running now. Did some special yoga classes or something." (Yah I know I'm not to that extreme...).

He said these things in passing. While busily looking at Apple products in the store. Or while busily fumbling his keys to lock the door while we were heading out. So, it never seemed like he's trying to think of something to say just to make me feel better. But these random positive words always seem to translate into "You're okay."

Spent the gorgeous afternoon with a couple of my girls. Hanging out by the harbour at Lonsdale Quay and casually pouring our hearts out. From topics of falling in love to heart breaks to having baggage. We leave everything out on the table. And will probably leave it all at the north shore. I remember watching "Sex And The City" marathons and wondered, "how many groups of girlfriends are that open and honest with each other?". Then I think of Karen and Wendy, and I laugh inside.

It was a good day.

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